Dance the macarena..... alone.
Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeeep Bip..."
If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen.
Speak only in a "robot" voice.
Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub."
Sniffle incessantly.
Name your dog "Dog."
Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."
Practice making fax and modem noises.
Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.
Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophecy."
Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
Drum on every available surface.
Staple papers in the middle of the page.
Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire UK film copyright warnings.
Sew anti-theft detector strips into people's backpacks.
Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.
Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.
Honk and wave to strangers.
Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.
Wear your pants backwards.
Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.
Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"
Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
Pay for your dinner with pennies.
Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.
Repeat everything someone says, as a question.
Light navy flares on a birthday cake.
Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.
Leave tips in Bolivian currency.
At the launderette, use one dryer for each of your socks.
As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.
Ask people what gender they are.
Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes."
Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.
Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.
Change your name to "John Aaaaasmith" for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each "a."
Sit in your front garden pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
Chew on pens that you've borrowed.
Sing along at the opera.
Mow your lawn with scissors.
At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batabatabata-suhWING-batter!"
Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend."
Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.


© 'Crazy Ad Productions' 2002/2003